Woman B: Twenty-seven and he recently turned 42 (we're still together). We discovered we had a lot of interests in common and became good friends. Most of the men I dated more casually at the time were in their 30s. It also made me feel special — this man seemed so much more worldly than the men my age, and the fact that he was interested in me seemed too good to be true. Woman D: Originally I think I was flattered that somebody who had experienced so much of life was interested in me.
Woman B: I rented a flat in the backyard of his then-girlfriend. But I knew he was probably 10 years older than me and that was a little bit of the attraction, because I thought that he would be older and more settled with none of the bullshit that you have in your 20s.
I guess that was the biggest impact on the relationship — I let him mold me into the girl he wanted instead of being who I really was. I don't think they expected it to last because I had never been in a relationship before.
What did/do you friends and family think of your relationship? A couple of my friends have similar stories about dating older men: they chose the person and not the age group. Woman C: My friends were much calmer than I thought they would be — a couple said they always thought I would end up with an older man.
However, after the relationship with the significantly older man ended I vowed to only date close to my age again.
I think that there is definitely some truth to the "age is just a number" mentality, but having the experience I did, I don't buy it completely.
Woman B: It has very little impact, although it does lead to some amusing jokes at times. Because we worked together we were able to spend time together and I would come home from school on the weekends.
He is a film nerd and usually mentions the year a film came out. " It's now at the point where he preempts me saying that. Once we were a more formal couple things became much harder.
Would you say that you are more attracted to older men than younger men, or men in your age group? I've also always been attracted to power dynamics and to the idea of inhabiting a more sexually submissive role.My cousin actually said, "Forty-five is the new 30!" My mother was less OK with it, but I expected that. Woman D: My family, especially my father, were very much against the relationship. My friends thought it was "gross" and it took them nearly all four years of college to warm up to my boyfriend.But it's not an exact science — there are plenty of immature older men that would put teenagers to shame.Woman D: I'm now married to a man who is five years older than me so I suppose patterns would say I'm attracted to men older than me.How did/does the age gap impact your relationship once you were in it?