That it was password-protected suggests that he had to sign up for it or download an app which means he put a lot more effort into it beyond just randomly deciding to go to a sketchy website.Also, why would he take so long to give you the "real" explanation?I think it's possible that he was simply doing as he said...engaging in a chat about sex with another guy in a chatroom.I wouldn't see that as a big deal, and I'd think it a little strange if someone else did, but everyone's boundaries are different.I mean at the end of the night it is him still coming back to you.I think of it similar to porn, but that's just the way I feel about it.it's not about me, how did it make you feel?I would guess that most people, in the moment, wouldn't see it as anything like "real" cheating, so I can imagine how an otherwise decent person might see it as wrong but not Maybe. Maybe he was bored and horny and hoping to chat with a woman in the same position.Maybe he really was just chatting with another man. Only he really knows, and unfortunately, he's demonstrated a clear willingness to lie about it.
If she was engaging in a Is "Do as I say, not as I do" a common theme in your marriage? If he's engaging in behavior that he would get upset at you over, that's unfair and a pretty good indication that he should have known better.
As I came around the corner I saw him typing on his phone on what was clearly some kind of chat room. When I opened the phone it asked for a password to resume whatever he was looking at. Eventually he admitted that he was on because he was curious.
I watched for a second or two then asked him what he was doing. So I said, "you are talking to someone on here and it's a hidden password protected app and you need to tell me what the fuck is going on." It took a lot of insisting on my part that I knew what I saw was chatting. He then told me that he wasn't even talking to girls but to some guy about his wife and some talk about group sex with the guy's wife or something.
If I was in your position, I'd keep open the possibility that his story is the true one, but I'd have a hard time believing it. I'd make him give me the password for the app or site and see if there are friend lists or saved chats.
If I was in your position, I'd take the phone and go through it carefully with him sitting right there. If things were obviously deleted, I'd take that as evidence that he's likely into it deeper than he's admitted.
One could make the case that maybe he was lying because he didn't have a good cover story at first, and he gradually told you what he did as he thought of it.