I had been there for less than an hour before she showed up to quite literally drag me away (warning sign #3).I forget what the excuse was, but it was some “togetherness” emergency – I had to go shopping with her for some trivial thing or other. In fact, that phrase – “I let her” – defined the majority of our relationship.This was significant because my ex hated RPGs – she thought they were the stupidest things ever and couldn’t imagine anyone she dated wanting to play them.She also didn’t care for them because it meant I was spending time with my friends and not with her (warning sign #2) – but this time she relented and .It’s important to note: this isn’t exclusively a male or female problem.Both men and women are equally capable of having weak boundaries and low self-esteem…Distancing Yourself in Conversation Signaling Your Icy Turn Staying Strong in Your Coldness Community Q&A You might sometimes be “cold” to people in general when you just feel like being left alone.But if you’re looking to be “cold hearted,” then you’re probably trying to extract yourself from an unhealthy relationship with a romantic partner or family member.
When you don’t feel as though you have anything to offer and you’re desperate for someone to complete you, you will tend to shift your boundaries and sacrifice your values for someone else in the hopes that this will prompt them to like you. They rely on obligation and allow themselves to be used – as well as live in fear of conflict or disagreement – because they don’t feel that they can rely on their own value.
To do so, you need to be crystal clear that you’re closing yourself off to the person emotionally and physically.
You also need to keep reminding yourself why “turning cold” is a necessary but temporary measure to regain control of your life.
As a result, I became the sort of person who was very good at finding excuses for why things had gone wrong – it wasn’t Why would I do this?
Because I didn’t want to acknowledge my part: I was choosing to continue a relationship with someone who made me miserable.
No further.” The lack of belief in yourself feeds into an insidious self-perpetuating cycle.